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Now that I've seen the first 3 episodes of Vampire Bund, I can point out where I disagree with you.
From my point of view, Nagi, Muraski, Misaki or Mina clearly don't have the upper hand in their relation with their "protectors" as he is just willing to play along. In all cases (except maybe Hayate's), he could put her in her place quite easily when they are becoming too capricious, but he does not, because it's how their relationship works. In compensation he is allowed to be able a part of her that she cannot show to others because of he social place (It makes me think of Evangelion ep.7, when Shinji complains that Misato is sloppy and immature, to see Tôji and Kensuke explain him that she lets him see this part of her because they are a family), which is also a token of submission as he can play with this side of her to a certain extend (for example when Kuroe feint to be under Misaki's eyes influence or when Akira says he did not remember his promise at the end of ep.3). I see this pattern like this : She is powerful and feared, but because he treats her like a normal being and goes with any of her whim, she shows him her weak side she cannot display in public. Loyalty for affection... In public she is the uuper one, but in private he can play with her and she is very vulnerable to it.
It's kinda like the relationship between Minamoto an The Childrens in ZKC, because he see them as ordinary kids instead of national treasures, weapons of mass destruction, future of mankind or Queens of whatever they are able to open up to him like they did never do even with their own families.